The thing about queries is, you can tweak them forever. There's no end to it. Eventually, you just have to say, "Good enough" and move on.
And I think I'm there. This query follows the book beautifully, and any agent who reads it will know exactly what kind of book they're in for--sort of. There's an element of humor in the novel that I don't feel comes across strongly in the query, but it's not slapstick, it's situational. The first chapter is rife with it, and if they request a partial, they'll learn about it soon enough, I guess. Other than that, the query is a pretty perfect representation of my story.
So, good enough.
Then again, speaking of "good enough", is this blog post good enough? I'm totally rambling...
Anyway, here's the final version of my query:
Growing up, Terri and her sister Joanie had wild and glamorous fantasies of becoming Hollywood starlets. Time changes things for Terri. She starts a stable life as a wife, mother, and baker, while Joanie moves to L.A and involves herself with the sort of guys who do bit parts in the tabloids… That is, until Joanie's murdered.
In the aftermath of her sister's death, Terri realizes that the wild woman inside of her has gone down in a blaze of bread-baking glory. She seeks out a less domesticated life for herself, pulling heists, dodging the cops, and getting awful close to Chris, a dangerous, seductive man who had once been her sister's lover.
Terri's heart ultimately triumphs over her body, but her attempts to disengage from Chris lead to a game of one-upmanship, where each of them are trying to get the advantage of the other. Before long, Chris is destroying her marriage and Terri's drowning his convertible. But there's more at stake than Terri realizes, because Chris was more than her sister's lover: he was her killer. In the end, Terri will come to understand the woman her sister became, and she'll see a way to avenge Joanie's death and find the closure she so desperately needs. Unfortunately, by that time, she'll be lost in the middle of nowhere and Chris will be holding a gun to her head…
After that, I'd put the title and word count and a quick closing with contact info.
Next time, I'll talk about finding agents.